How awesome would it be if we all wrote letters to our dogs. Heck, how awesome would it be if they could read them! I'm sure they'd appreciate our witty humor, rolling their eyes as they read over how much we love them. I know my dogs would probably blush saying "Jeeze Mom....why'd you have to be so gushy about us". Then I'd fix them a snack and we'd all cuddle up to watch Long Island Medium, cause that's how we roll in our house.
So, here's what I'd like to ask. If you have a dog blog (which by the way IS cool), write your own letter to your dog(s) and post it on your site. If you don't have a blog (which you might as well should), then post your letter under the comments section of this one. It's okay, we can share! (Cough...clearly directed at you Laura. Let's get some Loki stories up in hurrr). Let's face it- there's nothing better than getting a good laugh in the morning at a hilarious letter someone wrote their pet. And you know what- you don't have to be a current pet owner! Ya, that's right Kimmy. Heck- write a letter to your bunny, cat or fish! They will appreciate it, I'm sure :) And we can all benefit from a funny read during our morning coffee.
Here is my letter to my furry monsters, Bailey and Bonnie.
Dear Dogs Butts that take over the couch,
You’d think that when I wake up each morning, cold and shivering, that I’d be upset with the sheet stealing dogs lying comfortably beside me. You’d also think that I’d be mad when I leave the room and return to the remains of a once expensive dog toy all over the place, leaving tuffs of fake snow in its path. Sure, sometimes I wish that you wouldn’t eat the cat’s poop. Actually, I wish that all the time. But there have been times where I do things I’m not proud of, and seeing as how you don’t judge me, it seems only fair I return the favor.
Although I pretend it doesn’t, it makes me incredibly happy when you go crazy the second I walk through the door. The destruction of the blinds covering the windows and intensely high pitch dog scream seems like the right price to pay just to have something be so incredibly happy that I’ve come home. I love the craziness that ensues when I show you both your leashes and the realization on your faces when you figure out we’re going to the dog park. I know there are moments where I can simultaneously embarrass both of you around your dog friends by being too lovey, and I think it’s hilarious that I can do this to dogs. I know you don’t agree, but those sweaters I buy you are both adorable and very fashionable. I’d love it if you’d just please Mom just this once and wear them with no arguments.
I know you love me, because it’s written all over your faces. There’s never been a doubt in my mind that the two dogs that I call mine love me until the end of time. But I don’t know if you both know how immensely I love you. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to protect or care for you both. I’d spend all the money I have keeping you healthy and happy. I spend hours telling friends and family all about you, whether they asked about you or not. Doesn’t matter because I’ve developed the amazing ability to relate any story to something funny you’ve both done. I don’t care when a strand of dog hair ends up in my baking; it’s my special ingredient, and makes everything taste better.
You’ll always have a home with us. It doesn’t matter where we live or move to, because we will always take you with us. You’re not just our pet, you’re a crucial part of our funny little family. I’ll always have a warm bed waiting for you. And maybe, just maybe, there might be some Dentabones waiting for you too. I know you don’t know this, but aside from being yummy, they’re good for your teeth. See? That’s how much I love you.
Thanks for being my dogs. In exchange for the awesome devotion you’ve given since day one, I’ll pretend that while you’re drooling on my foot at the sight of some delicious meal that it’s just lightly raining inside. You can do no wrong my two sweet dogs. Even when you eat my shoes I’ll forgive you. But touch my Christian Louisboutin and we might be in a pickle. Either way, it doesn’t matter because life with my dogs is better than anything I could have planned.
The adoption papers are misleading. They show our names clearly printed along the ‘adopters’ line, with your name scribbled on ‘pet’s name’ under the Adoptee section. They say we rescued you, which I suppose technically is correct. The truth however is that you rescued us from a boring, dog-less life. Where would we be having not known the love you can only receive from a pet? Thank you for making sure we never have to find out.
I love you both more than you can know.
Lots of embarassing kisses and cuddles,