I’m sure you’ve heard of me. Out of the three animals in my house, I am without a doubt the most beautiful. I am also the most well behaved. Unlike that dog who continues to poop in public (utterly disgusting), I choose to release my droppings into this sweet little box inside the guest room. And unlike the other cat, I opt to not vocalize every single emotion through a loud, ear shattering meow.
I have added some pictures of myself. Yes, you're welcome.
It can be difficult, being so beautiful and well mannered. I often find myself passed out from sheer exhaustion. Sometimes, in my weaker moments, you can find me sprawled out on the hardwood floors, entirely drained from my difficult life. My days are packed with daily routines. My humans, those lovely people, would be lost without me splashing water on the bathroom mirror, gingerly trotting along the kitchen counter and politely demanding for treats. I know it’s the highlight of their day, and the least I can do is upkeep these things. I mean, after all, we’re roommates.
I’m told I’m a tuxedo cat, which makes perfect sense. I have always felt rather fancy, and somewhat of a higher class that the dog and Rascal. I go to great lengths to keep my coat shinny and soft- you never know when Hollywood may call. One must always keep their appearances a high priority. And besides, someone has to represent the household. You cannot expect the dog to do it!
It is an honor to be considered a part of my social circle. This is why I like to refer to my elite club as those I choose to grace with my presence. I have always maintained a maximum of three humans, and on occasion allow Rascal to entertain me. If you’re hoping to spend time with me, please have your people call my people. I’m a very busy lady.
My green eyes are beyond beautiful, and really do add to my overall look of irresistibility. When you see me, you will want to glide your hands across my velvet ears, while whispering “What a beautiful kitty” in my face. Please remember, this beauty is a burden. Simply sitting on the highest point of the couch, looking as beautiful as possible can take hours of stamina, which I must simply follow with a four hour nap. Please commit to memory what it takes to look this fabulous. Remember, with great beauty comes great responsibility.
Well I must jet. This has been lovely, finally catching up with all you divinely wonderful people. Do keep in touch!